In a few short weeks I will take those precious steps down the aisle towards the man who has my heart and soul and we will declare a lifelong commitment to one another. I know how very lucky I am to be allowed to marry the person I love in this country, and I think in the midst of the mayhem, we forget about what’s truly important. So to a fellow Bride, this one is for you.
Wedding planning is hard. In the two years it took to pull together this special celebration, we were confronted with many difficult (yet in the end, trivial) scenarios. People were so willing to give advice, and I am so unbelievably grateful, because it’s what got me through, but at times, the opinions of others weighed heavy.
Here is a small selection:
- People who thought our plans were too difficult or inconvenient
- People who declined because we didn’t invite kids
- People who questioned the menu
- People who were upset they didn’t get invited
- People changing their RSVP’s at the last minute
Don’t get me wrong, these things are so trivial, and the good far outweighed the bad, but I truly found it hard to let go, and stick to our vision. This was my biggest regret, and I don’t want you to make the same mistake.
To truly express myself, I need to take you back..
As a young girl hurt by broken love for the first time, I made made myself a promise. I would never get married. From what 11-year-old me could tell, it doesn’t last – so why bother.
Ironically, I was/am a huge Disney fan, and while I enjoyed the magic Disney would glitter before my young, innocent eyes, my favourite part of every movie was never the poofy white dress and big old smooch at the end – it was the adventure in the middle. Simba running back to save Pride Rock, rather than, in Simba’s case, the big old roar and presentation of his firstborn to all the land.
But then I grew older, and met my special person. The world I knew transformed, like when night turns to dawn, and I was reminded of why we are put on this earth.
It’s to understand that when you have met someone who truly wants to spend the rest of their life to you, you’ve already won. It’s the most beautiful adventure – one that’s far more thrilling than a Disney movie, that’s for sure.
It’s not to put on a show, not to have the biggest diamond, not to please the tastes and opinions of others, and it’s certainly not to worry about things that will mean absolutely nothing when you are about to take your last breath.
So some time ago, I made myself a new promise, I will get married once and only once in my lifetime. I will give my heart and soul to be the best life partner I can be, and I will cherish every moment leading up to this special time and beyond. Because some moments are too special. Because, faster than the blink of an eye, those moments will be gone.
The second I made peace with this, the anxiety washed from me, and here I sit, next to my beloved and our fur child, ready to transition into the next phase of my life feeling nothing but sheer joy.
Brides to be, I offer one piece of advice. Do what is best for you and your person, and cherish every second. Don’t let it slip between your fingers, and believe me, it will if you let it.
After waiting years for our special day, it’s now on our doorstep knocking away loudly – and I won’t be missing this adventure for anything.
A fellow Bride to be.